can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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