Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
