so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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