whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
