3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
