I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just had sex bonerless
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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