she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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