i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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