My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
