I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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