Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
