The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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