just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
