i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
