God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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