So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
