I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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