how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize