I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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