There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
