Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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