We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
