tell your sister to shave her snatch
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
