Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
