I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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