I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
its not stalking. its research.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
