yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
