Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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