I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You dont lie about slip and slides
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize