Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just pee around me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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