no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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