He kissed a someone with a penis
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize