i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
