we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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