Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
