Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
