We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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