But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
