I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
