So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize