So gin and wine won't be happening again
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
