Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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