Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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