how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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