I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
