i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
