I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Still dying that you shit outside
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
