You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
