hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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