It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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