I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
