pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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