i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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