There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
