i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my phone needs a breathalizer
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
