tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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