The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
