He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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