Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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