Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
