butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
