So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
