He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
