I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
