i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
