It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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