My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
