i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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